Antiquarian Anabaptist

Apologetics from an Anabaptist perspective

Mr. Average Canadian

In 1926 Stephen Leacock tried to describe the average Canadian man of his day. Eighty-nine years have passed and Mister Average Canadian of that day is long dead and buried. Therefore, I will take it upon myself to describe his modern counterpart, according to census statistics.

In 2015 Mr. Average Canadian is 42 years old and lives in Sudbury, Ontario, but was not born there. His mother tongue is English, but one of his grandparents was French and he speaks 1,000 words of that language. He also speaks 100 words of Mandarin and 100 words of Hindi, Urdu or Arabic, and probably knows a few words of Cree or Ojibwe.

He has lived with three women, is halfway divorced from one and halfway married to another. Two children live with him and his halfway wife, they each have one other child who lives with the partner from whom they are halfway divorced. Mr. Average Canadian and his halfway wife each have one half of a university degree, but this does not add up to one full degree between them.

Mr. Average Canadian drives a Ford pickup and his halfway wife drives a Toyota Corolla. They also own a riding lawnmower and either a Skidoo or a Kawasaki ATV. Mr. Average Canadian shops once a week at Canadian Tire for parts for their vehicles and equipment, parts to fix the leaky tap in the bathroom, new tools with which to do the repairs, or clothes to wear on his upcoming hunting trip. He also meets with friends for coffee at Tim Horton’s two times in the week. He has an Android phone which he uses to keep up with family and friends, the weather, sports, news and various other things.

Mr. Average Canadian and his halfway wife attend a church five times a year. At times they may also go to a synagogue or a mosque. They have one quarter of a Bible in their home and each will pick it up about three times a year and try to read something in it, but they still don’t have a clue what it’s all about.

This I believe is a reasonably accurate portrait of Mr. Average Canadian. Here is the big question: where does one begin when he wishes to try and share the gospel with such a person?

The answer should be obvious — you need to be one of those friends he meets with at Tim Horton’s, show him the nifty Bible app on your Android and encourage him to download it too. That is the beginning.

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2 responses to “Mr. Average Canadian

  1. The Gospel of Barney January 20, 2015 at 14:12

    Hilarious! Are you one of the mister average ones who did not die?

  2. Bob Goodnough January 20, 2015 at 14:33

    I think I might have been considered old-fashioned even in Stephen Leacock’s day. I am still married to my first wife (45years this summer), we go to church at least once per week and read the Bible a couple of times a day. Yet we have people among our own near kin who fit the description above and we think of ourselves as being very much like them, except that by the grace of God we have been able to make choices that have led to happier results.

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