Flatlander Faith

Apologetics from an Anabaptist perspective

Reading each other’s mail

How long does the honeymoon last when Christians marry? How long does it take for the husband to realize that his bride isn’t submitting to him like the Bible teaches? How many days does it take before the young lady becomes aware that her husband isn’t giving himself for her like it says in the Bible?

We start out by seeing so many good qualities in each other and believing that a lifetime together is going to be effortless bliss. It doesn’t take long to see that my partner isn’t quite perfect and then natural response then is to try to help her / him become the ideal partner that I had originally envisioned. And then we wonder why our attempts to help meet with so much resistance.

The same annoyances crop up in the marriages, or relationships, of those who are not Christians. The shine soon begins to wear off the partner who seemed just about perfect just a short while ago. But we, as Christians, have the advantage of being able to point out the exact passages of Scripture that name the flaws in our beloved.

Do you see the problem here? We are reading each other’s mail. The passages about the wife’s responsibilities are addressed to the wife. Husbands should just ignore those verses and go on to the ones addressed to them. Likewise the wives should forget about reading the passages addressed to their husbands and assessing how well their own husbands measure up.

By and by, if we are truly Christians, it will begin to dawn on us that I can accomplish more for our mutual happiness by considering the passages of Scripture that address my role in the home and endeavouring to actually do what those verses say I should do. That is after all why they were written.

One of the great benefits of marriage is that it reveals how selfish I am. I begin married life with dreams of how my happiness will be enhanced by joining hands with this other person. Eventually I must realize that my happiness is bound up in helping this other person to be happy.

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