Flatlander Faith

Apologetics from an Anabaptist perspective

Tag Archives: friends

Family

We can choose our friends, but we can’t choose our family. We can conceal things about our past from our friends, but our family knows the real story. And we know theirs.

My cousin Ted was 80 on Thursday. Friday evening a few of us got together to celibrate and share memories. Ted’s next older brother, Dennis, was there too. Ted is 3½ years older than I am, Dennis 4½. That was huge 70 years ago, it doesn’t matter anymore.

Their Dad was a brother to my Dad, their Mom a sister to mine.There are differences between us, but they are small; our DNA must be pretty much identical. Ted and I both have trouble with respiratory allergies and with exczema, that seems to run in the family.

Our families always did a lot of visiting back and forth when we were young. Today all three of us are church-going Bible-believing people. It wasn’t always that way and we know things about each other’s history that we don’t talk about anymore. There are some differences in the way we understand the Bible and Christian life, but our experience of the transforming power of Jesus’ love draws us together.

Our daughter and her family were part of the gathering Friday evening. She talked about growing up in an Ontario congegation where all her friends had cousins living close by. Michelle could say that she also had cousins, but they were back in Saskatchewan. I was an only child, my wife was raised apart from her siblings and we have never been all that close to them and their children. Michelle calls Ted and Dennis her uncles and has a good relationship with their children, her cousins. I  didn’t realize just how much that has meant to her until she talked about it Friday evening.

Family — I can clearly see my cousin’s faults, but they are much like my own and it seems that we are together in the struggles of life. We know all kinds of embarrassing stories about each other, but we never talk about them — except for some of the really funny ones. I guess we’re just thankful that the Lord has watched o0ver us and brought us safely this far in our lives.

Miserable comforters are ye all

“I have been hurt more by Christians than by non-believers.”  This was said, not so much as a complaint but as a simple statement of fact, by a friend with whom my wife and I were visiting the other day.  This lady has many heartaches and struggles in her past and I don’t doubt her statement. But I began to ponder why such a thing should be.

This led me to the story of Job and the misfortunes that befell him. In one day he lost all his children and all his wealth. As if that wasn’t enough, he then lost his health. His three closest friends came to comfort him. Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar were God-fearing men and their hearts were moved with compassion for their friend. They wept and mourned with him for seven days and seven nights without opening their mouths.

The trouble came when they began to speak. They truly wanted to help their friend and the only cause they could think of for his misery was that he must be suffering punishment for some hidden sin. The more Job protested his innocence, the more they were sure they understood the problem. Finally Job said: “ I have heard many such things: miserable comforters are ye all.”

I am a Christian, I care about my fellow believers and all the people around me. I want to “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” Yet when I try to put that into practice, all too often I have come across much like Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar. I want to understand what has happened, offer some helpful suggestions, when it would be better to keep my mouth shut.

Job never accused his friends of sin for the way they spoke to him. One time he called them “miserable comforters,” another time he responded with this little zinger: “No doubt but ye are the people, and wisdom shall die with you.” But he never sinned in accusing them falsely.

At the end, God asked Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar to go to Job and ask him to pray for their forgiveness. I think the most significant part of the whole book is found in verse 10 of chapter 42: “And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before.”

Isn’t forgiveness always the answer? Job was not restored until he could forgive his friends and pray for them, and we won’t be either. Our friends may do and say hurtful things. Forgive them. Or they may not know what to do or say and so avoid us for a time. Forgive them.

We will get hurt in this life. Well-meaning friends will say that we should just forgive and forget. That may come as a fresh wound, the forgetting part is not always easy, or even completely possible. Let’s forgive our well-meaning friends and do our best to put the original hurt behind us by applying the healing balm of forgiveness every time it gives us pain.

Girl on a pilgrimage

I worked in Delisle today, sitting in a cubbyhole office in the vet clinic, hunched over a computer trying to get financial records up to date. About One o’clock my stomach finally got through to me that it was time to eat and I walked over to the nearby snack shack. The waitress soon brought me my usual meal of poutine, cookies and Diet Pepsi and I sat down to eat.

A young lady came in, ordered an ice cream cone, ate it while visiting with an older lady at another table. Then she decided she needed a little more to eat. I had overheard her talk about biking across Canada so I started asking questions. She sat down at my table and started answering.

She started out from Vancouver 15 days ago and is trying to average 120 km a day on her bicycle. Her destination is St. Johns, Newfoundland and she hopes to be there in another 2 months. The mountains were slower travelling, her best day so far was 140 km. She is travelling alone, sometimes camping for night, sometimes staying with friends. Tonight she plans to be with a friend of a friend in Saskatoon. At the end of her journey she will fly back to Vancouver and look for work in one of the smaller cities in the mountains of B.C. She is a nurse. I admire her courage and spirit of adventure and I believe she will make it.

Back in 1967, Canada’s centennial year, I was living in a small town beside the Trans-Canada Highway in Southern Saskatchewan. Many people making the cross Canada trek passed through our town that summer, some on foot, some on bicycle, some on roller skates, some on horseback.

A few years later Terry Fox attempted the trip from east to west running on an artificial leg. He had lost his leg from cancer and was raising money for cancer research. There is a monument to Terry Fox beside the highway at Thunder Bay where he had to abandon the trek because his cancer had returned. Rick Hanson made the trip by wheelchair a year or two later, raising money for spinal cord research. Both of these were being accompanied by a support crew of family or friends.

I had to wonder about an attractive young lady making this trip on her own. But don’t we all make our pilgrimage through this life on our own? As the song Jesus Walked This Lonesome Valley says “Nobody else can walk it for you, You’ve got to walk it by yourself.”

This young lady knows of others who are making the same trip this summer, she says there is one couple not far behind her. We have company on our Christian pilgrimage through life, they offer encouragement and help when they can, but we’ve got to make this pilgrimage on our own determination. There are people along the way who will offer us shelter, nourishment and a chance to recharge our inner batteries, but then we have to keep on going. We don’t know when our journey will end, but every morning we are one day closer to our destination and it will be worth all the troubles of the way.

Hitherto hath the LORD helped us

“And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God” (Luke 9:62).  I have had some experience in tilling the soil and have learned the danger of looking back to admire the straight furrow I have made.  When I stopped looking forward, the furrow began to swerve from its intended path.

Looking back to enumerate my accomplishments over the past year would probably have the same effect.  Even more so if I would see little to boast of and begin to blame others for my lack of accomplishments.

However, I do see much evidence of how the Lord has helped us through the past year.  I have Macular Degeneration that required repeated injections of Lucentis directly into the eyes over several years.  It is almost three years since the last injection and I now only need to go for a checkup once a year.  It was frightening to receive the diagnosis six years ago, then the Lord gave me an assurance that “there will be a way.”

My wife was diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia earlier this year.  After many tests she has also been told that her condition is stable and only needs to be monitored once per year.

We have not accumulated much in the way of material goods over the years, but we have accumulated many friends.  We keep in contact with people in places where we have lived and places we have visited.  I count it a special privilege to have corresponded with three missionary couples (two in the Philippines, one in Cameroun) over the past few years.  All three of the wives were toddlers when we first met 35 years ago as we moved to Ontario.  It has been a few years since we have seen them, and we have never seen their children, but it is a blessing to know that those little girls have grown into fine Christian women.

We are still learning new things, new skills, making new friends.  We are growing in faith, and in faithfulness.  Hitherto hath the LORD helped us.  I want to face the future with that calm assurance.

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